You come, you love and people leave
They might leave from your apparent world
The might leave your apartment, your rental car, your favorite cafe, your favorite bookshop
They might leave the city you live in or the land you walk on
They might escape to the sky that seperates you from the heaven or whatever you believe lies above
They might leave everything that smells of you
They might even find someone to replace you and sometimes forget about you
But they always remain in your heart
When you step out of your apartment leaving the keys under the doormat expecting they would come
They remain in your phone at nights full of agony when you open the blank chat window and stare at it waiting for a message
Hoping that some guardian angel will fly to wherever they are and tell them that their single message could turn your bad day around
They remain in your eyes at night when you climb at the rooftop to stare at the stars hoping that maybe you could feel better alone then you open your eyes to see someone beside you but its just your own shadow full of the bittersweet memories of the past which are now stinging you like poison
There might be an abandoned chair or a crippled up note or the blank screen window of phone or a spider
You’ll find everything which reminds you of them but you’ll never find them
They will remain in your crippled up notes to remind yourself how much better you are without them
They will remain in the shiny little sweets full of lies that you tell yourself to survive
They will remain in the backpack of regret you carry with yourself all day
They will remain beside your heart, just not in it
But beside it like a dead beat trying to come out to life
Do you know how it feels to carry two hearts?
One dead and the other one almost dead
But still you manage to pump blood into it and wait for it to die itself
You don’t wish for it but you wait
And the whole dilemma continues
People keep leaving and you keep giving life to the extra hearts inside of you besides your own
Until you have no power to do so or you find someone who will plant flowers in your heart
The ones which will make for the funeral of all those extra hearts
And they will be the only person whose rhythm will exist in your fingers when you write poetry
They will be the reason of the shine in your eyes just like those stars you stared at on summer nights trying to scare your loneliness away
They will be beside you instead of the shadow of your dark past
And for once you won’t be thinking about who left
All you will be thinking about is that how this person will never leave
“Do you know how it feels to carry two hearts?
One dead and the other one almost dead”
Zoha, this was incredible. It put an ache into my chest but the good kind. This, for me, was a journey through pain and nostalgia, wishing you could be saved, and then knowing that one day there is going to be someone good, someone who is going to make it all worthwhile.
Thank you for writing about pain but finishing with the kind of hope that appears when the night is darkest, a sudden lightness in your chest.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! ❤
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Lana, you’re such a ray of sunlight. Your comments always make my day. Sending lots of love your way. I’ll get my first book reviewed by you hopefully. ❤
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Laa
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Zoha, I think this is my favorite piece of YOURS! It is too relatable, too nostalgic. And I love how it takes such a hopeful, lovely turn in the end.
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Thank you so much, Saira. 💜
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